i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
