hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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