Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
