I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
