hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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