That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
