fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
