did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
