hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it was like eating out sand paper
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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