Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
