I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize