Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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