we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
