also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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