im drinking this country out of the recession.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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