That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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