I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
