i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As shirtless as possible
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize