She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think I just shit out all my problems.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I love you.
Bad choice
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
