Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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