Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
