I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
soo... how was my night?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize