Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
