he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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