Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think my moral compass just broke
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