I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
