Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
