so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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