Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
