Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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