Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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