We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
