He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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