You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
