He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
