is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
