i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize