Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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