margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize