i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Randomize
