So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This house was built for laser tag.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
