Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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