i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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