No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
