lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
