Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize