What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
there is glitter all over my balls
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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