I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
