Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
