Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
