fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
