I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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