I never want to see another naked old woman again.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
