she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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