I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
