so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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