I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
