i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
