i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
